We are working our way through a series on how to identify a wise woman. Today is the last official part asking; Are you a foolish woman? You can go here to find Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
As we look today at the foolish woman and how to identify her, please know it is my intention that I encourage you to good works. Don’t let this post discourage you. Writing it has convicted me in certain areas and given me the renewed desire to do better, all to the glory of God. We are on the narrow path, and it can be a painful road sometimes. But as children of the Most High, we shall overcome. God’s Word has so much to say to us on the subject of foolishness. More than I had originally thought.
Comparing these two women, the wise and the foolish, has proved to be quite informative and sanctifying for me. I pray it will be for you too.
How To Identify a Foolish Woman
You can place her by observing her:
- Husband
- Children
- Home
- Bank statements
- Activities
- Appearance
- Behavior
The Husband of a Foolish Woman
Proverbs 12:4 is the verse of verses when looking at the foolish woman and her husband.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
What does it mean to “maketh ashamed?” This is a woman who wastes her husband’s substance through her indiscretion and extravagance.
Gill’s exposition says: “…makes her husband ashamed…by her negligence and slothfulness…; she is as rottenness in his bones; a constant grief to his mind, a pressure upon his spirits, a wasting of his body, and a consumption of his estate.”
Pulpit commentary: “..one who is a terrible contrast to the woman of strong character – weak, indolent, immodest, wasteful.”
Her husband is lacking in many areas. He doesn’t trust her with the simplest of duties. He will never know what to find when he returns home each evening. The foolish wife scolds and rebukes him. She complains to her mother, his mother, and her friends about his shortcomings.
She can never seem to overlook the dirty socks on the floor or the days he works late. He is a grieved man, aloof, disinterested, and unforgiven. While he pays little attention to her flaws, she brings his up often and makes it a source of contention. She demands that he lead, then tells him how to do it.
The Children of a Foolish Woman
“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15
The foolish woman’s children are often neglected, left to themselves or some electronic device. Rather than train the children, she barks orders from the couch or her computer chair.
She allows her children to destroy household items or siblings’ toys and other belongings to keep from having to deal with bad behavior herself. She is lazy about parenting and lets the children do what they ought not, eat what they shouldn’t, say what is not proper, and befriend those with bad character all to keep extra work from herself.
The children are irreverent and disobedient, careless, and lazy with the entitlement attitude.
The Home of a Foolish Woman
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1
“I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.” Proverbs 24:30-31
Her home is in constant disarray and utter chaos. Her yard is overgrown and unsightly. There is strife between her four walls. Therefore the home is tense guests visit.
Garbage is everywhere and chores are left undone for weeks at a time. The only time she cleans are the days before she has company coming. Little is maintained. Little is cared for.
The Finances of a Foolish Woman
“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.” Proverbs 21:19-20
The details of a foolish woman’s finances show bounced checks, late fees, and overdraft charges more often than not. She spends more than her husband earns and never saves a dime. She never knows where her family stands financially.
The foolish woman impulse buys and neglects any sort of planning. Not understanding the principle of buying in bulk or comparison shopping, she fails to purchase needed items ahead of time thereby spending more on seasonal items at the last minute.
She may fall prey to get rich quick schemes or putting money into opportunities she has not researched, losing hundreds or thousands of dollars.
The Activities of a Foolish Woman
“A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” Proverbs 22:3 (Simple is a synonym for foolish)
“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be compared to ten maidens who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them…” (Matthew 25).
A foolish woman lives for the moment. She has no regard for time management. She is inconsistent and careless. This type of a woman makes excuses is defensive.
She wasn’t taught the basics of running a home or raising children and has no desire to learn so chooses to stay at her current level of incompetence. Her tongue is full of gossip, backbiting, complaints, and negativity.
Proverbs 7:11 says of the foolish woman, “She is loud and stubborn, her feet abide not in her house.”
The Appearance of a Foolish Woman
And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. Proverbs 7:10
The foolish woman of today may be dressed as a harlot or a slob. Often, she will be extreme in this area. She will pay an excessive amount of attention to her appearance, or ignore it altogether. She will wrongly believe her appearance is everything or doesn’t matter at all.
The Behavior of a Foolish Woman
Foolish women are easily identified. In her heart and conduct, she will be:
- Agitated and arrogant
- Conceited and cantankerous
- Discontent and disagreeable
- Foolish and flighty
- Gossipy and greedy
- Inconsiderate and irreverent
- Lazy and loud
- Negative and needy
- Rash and rude
- Stubborn and selfish
- Unsatisfied and unkind
Proverbs 20:3 tells us that, “It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” The foolish woman meddles in others’ affairs and does not “hearken unto counsel” (Proverbs 12:15). She is a drain on others and her relationships are strained. She is not only not wise, she doesn’t even want to be.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7
In Conclusion
Proverbs bursts with scripture about fools, and about the wise. Read through this book over the next few days. Ecclesiastes has a lot to divulge to us as well about foolishness and wisdom.
Ladies, as I finish up this post, I know it won’t sit well with some who read it. Some will be angry, some will be convicted and some will be discouraged, incredibly discouraged. The LORD calls us to good works, good works that He has set up for us from the foundation of the world. He has called us to live righteously in this present generation. We are to let His light shine and do good works that others may glorify Him.
I pray the LORD works in each of our hearts and lives to make us more like Him, so we may love our husbands, love our children and build our homes.
“The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” Proverbs 15:2
“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Proverbs 29:11
I am really enjoying this series. Even if it is convicting! My desire is to be a wise woman and it is a constant learning curve!
Thanks,
Mary-Ann
Just WOW! I see myself in a lot of this. This scripture always stood out to me, largely because I never wanted to be that kind of woman, but in a lot of ways I have become just that. All I could say is “ouch” as I read through the 7 indicators of a foolish woman… I don’t want to be that, so thank you for taking this topic on, I really need to learn this lesson – to let God works some things in and out of me. Thank you!
Snap,same here! Total surprise I must say. Wanted to skulk away and hide till I read your reply. Love your forthrightness, made me smile. Thank you for that.😗😂
Thank you. This is enlightening and mirrors my life experiences with the the mother of my children. Sad to say that her foolishness ended up taking her out of her matrimonial home and before the end of 2 years she has already broken up with her heavenly send new husband. Some of the foolish woman’s actions are lucifer’s snare.
Jennifer, thank you for sharing! This is truly a very compelling and convicting blog; one of which encourages me to assess myself as a woman.
God Bless,
Michelle S. Fields
Wow an amazing message from God for me! Thanks be to God for the courage to write this though-provoking message!
I am equally stirred and blessed by it.
May God bless you
Audrey
My wife needs this please. Pray with me for her ma’am as we are on the brink of separation. I’ve used her email address PLEASE!!! Her name is Laisa Johansen but her address is in the email box below. Thank you and God bless you
Is 3:07 AM where I’m at. I couldn’t sleep thinking to myself how foolish I am as a woman. I googled ‘I am a foolish woman’ and your series popped up. Thank you. As sad and hard it is to admit I fall under the foolish woman category, I don’t want to that. I hate it. Please pray for me. Pray that I desire Christ, change and wisdom.
i appreciate your work. i have bee struggling with my wife because she is not ready to change their does she admit of herself as a foolish woman. i thin this series will be of help. from Kenya
Maybe your list should say “lewd” instead of “loud”. Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but God made women with both softer and louder voices. Should I feel convicted because God made me with a naturally louder voice? He has used this voice to lead worship. Is that only ok if you’re a man? Are all women supposed to be delicate and demure, even if God made them otherwise? I ask because I want to learn how to be a better woman and wife. I did in fact learn from many things in your post but I thought being “loud” – unless you meant it in the way of lewd, rude, and unmannered – was perhaps not what you meant. You look so sweet and demure but not all of God’s women were created delicate and shy. He can use all of us whether quiet or not for His glory. Thank you for a great post though, I will be reading more of your blog! God bless! 🙂
Well,
It’s clear that I have a lot of work to do. Where do I start. I’m not going to lie this opened my eyes up to the works that I have to do as a woman as a mother as a wife.
Where do you start? I would say you just did. The beginning is the desire, and you’ve got that!
And, there are two ways to look at some work you might have ahead of you… One way is to feel overwhelmed at everything you believe you need to do. The other way to look at is with excitement and anticipation. The Lord has laid out good works for us to accomplish and you just found out about it. That is exciting!
I can appreciate your post. I cannot imagine staying quiet in the face of abuse, maltreatment, lording-over, and etc…
also, some houses are “unkempt” because a woman is elderly, handicapped, disabled, or ill in some way. Maybe everyone trashes it?
or the yard is unkempt because she is exhausted, or maybe she even works outside of the home? or had family members that are disabled or handicapped and she puts everything into caring for them?
There are too many variables that cannot be ignored rather than painting all women with such a broad brush of shame?
I never said a woman should, “stay quiet in the face of abuse, maltreatment, lording-over, and etc…” You’re putting words in my mouth.
I’ve known many elderly women with very tidy homes. I don’t think the message of this post was to keep your house clean 24/7. All the types of people you listed can have homes that aren’t trashed and unkempt. Choices and priorities, that’s what it comes down to.
Are there variables? Of course. Can I paint with a broad brush on my own blog. Completely.
Maybe you’re feeling convicted by something I said
Hi Jennifer! I love this series! It’s very convicting but encourages me greatly at the same time. Part 2 in the series is bringing up an error page for me. I wonder if something is wrong there. I’d sure like to read it. I am enjoying your site updates and so very glad you are not gone from the internet. I’ve missed you so much over the last couple years. You inspire me and what you say resonates deeply. I appreciate your sound, wise and godly voice in this confused culture. I’ve been reading for many years. As a mom to many and cherished wife to one, I’ve learned so much from you and am very grateful for your investment in teaching women God’s ways! Bless you!
Rebecca (Spring Hill, KS)
Hi Rebecca,
I’m so glad the blog is a blessing to you! And I’m so thankful to be back!
I am slowly updating the blog. You should be able to find part two here: http://confidentlycalled.com/2016/05/31/your-choice-to-be-a-wise-woman/
<3
Oh great! Read it this morning! Wonderful post. Thanks for fixing. Just ordered a set of Homemaking DVD’s. I own one but with 3 daughters, I thought it wise to have an extra set.
Blessings,
Rebecca
You’re welcome!
I held back a set for each of my daughters (and future daughter in laws) and plan to give it to each of them as they marry. 2 down 9 to go!
Your question is legit. However, the “loud” in this blog means being out of character presenting oneself as a tyrant, boisterous, unkind which are not characteristics of a Godly woman.
You know, Truth Hurts. That’s how you know it’s real talk. I needed to feel what I’m feeling as I read through the series. I truly believe it takes one to know one now. I found every expression to be true about myself and now know that a change must come within myself moving forward. Never met or heard of this writer in my life! Until this morning scrolling along the web as I sat on my porch and began to mediate. Thankful to have heard the words of God this morning as I know he is using bodies and working the people on earth to get his message across to us all.