The spectrum is broad when it comes to how clean and tidy homemakers keep their homes. Even within our “Confidently Called Community” there are ladies whose homes are always company ready and ladies who struggle on a daily basis to get the basics done.
One of the most common questions I get is, “How do I keep my home clean? I just don’t know where to start.”
In our “go to college, get a career” world today, it’s not surprising that many women struggle. They know how to clean, it’s the keeping it clean they often haven’t figured out.
I wrote a post several months ago that covered exactly how to keep your home clean, especially when you don’t know where to start. You can find that post here: http://confidentlycalled.com/2017/12/12/keeping-clean-home-dont-know-start/
Below are quotes from real-life homemakers who responded to an email I sent out asking:
Do you generally have a clean and tidy home? Would you reply to this email and let me know how you view your home? What you think about it, that motivates you to keep up on housework (without constant overwhelm and frustration), and how you think of your role in your home?
Changing your mindset requires the renewing of your mind and, it’s Biblical. See Romans 12:2. You renew your mind in regard to homemaking by knowing God’s desire and heart towards homemaking. Encouragement from Godly sisters is also Biblical. See Titus 2.
Be Encouraged:
Vicki writes:
I view my home as “heaven on earth for my family!” I oversee all the workings of the home, and I take my responsibility very seriously. When the home is reasonably organized (and I say reasonably because overkill would make a very nervous family!), meals are planned in advance, laundry is caught up, ironed or folded, and put away, and an atmosphere of peace and order is in place, I know the family is comfortable and happy.
It brings me great joy to provide a place for the family to get away from the chaos of the world. I know the enemy is out to try to spread around discord, dysfunction, and disharmony…what great joy it brings to ‘dis’ him back by providing cleanliness, joy, warmth, and harmony!
Jessica writes:
I have five small children. I homeschool the older ones. Since I am home all of the time, I try really hard to keep the house clean. I can’t relax if the house is messy. I think a clean home is very important. I view being a keeper at home a calling by God. I think my children can grow and enjoy our home more if it’s clean.
I do get overwhelmed sometimes, but that’s normally when I am pressed for time. I think my husband should come home from work to a clean haven. Our home is a ministry, and God has allowed me to point my children to Him, and my home is the platform I use. If it’s always messy and chaotic, that doesn’t show forth Christ. I want my home to be inviting and a loving atmosphere. And I think I set the tone in my home. Dirtiness hinders me from doing my best for God and my family. I work hard each day in the home, and I don’t take it lightly.
Annie writes:
I would think that I generally have a neat & tidy home, and I’m thankful for that! I love being home! I’m so thankful to the Lord that He put in my heart from a very young age that I wanted to stay home. I absolutely love looking after my family by cooking, cleaning and being there for my husband & children. I’m so thankful to be able to homeschool and have my children with me all day. I’m so thankful that my husband feels the same way and supports me in my role.
I know I function so much better when I’m home regularly and able to keep up with chores, but when I get too busy outside of the home with appointments & visiting things go a little crazy! So, from experience I would say staying home and keeping busy there is the best way to have a happy home and good mindset. It’s written in the Word to be keepers at home or busy at home for a reason!
Amanda writes:
My role is incredibly important, though there are days I can forget it too and my attitude affects everyone, even my husband! My home is generally 20-30 min away from company ready but I try to keep it in a place where I am content if someone drops by at anytime, not perfect but tidy and orderly. I grew up with a pretty open door policy and love the idea of having a home where my family and friends want to be.
Anonymous writes:
Hi, I definitely have a clean and tidy house. I view my home as a reflection of our family and our values. My goal is for it to be welcoming and inviting, a safe place outside of the craziness of the world. I try to be a good steward of my time and utilize routines to facilitate this. My husband works hard at his job to provide a home for us and my job is to take care of what he has provided.
Paige writes:
I love my family and want the best for them. Knowing I am keeping our home tidy, our clothes washed, folded and put away, animals tended, pet hair and dust vacuumed, yard cheerful, groceries and supplies in place, healthy meals and snacks available, plus a working kitchen calendar with all our appointments, makes me feel like I am giving the three most important people in my life the “gift ” of a peaceful home. Viewed like this, housework is not drudgery but acts of service are “gifts” to those I love most. I want my daughter to see my joy in this service, not hear complaints, as I know what I model she will take with her, to some degree, to her own house one day.
For example, I emptied our trash on trash day today and noticed a small scrap of paper stubbornly stuck behind the can and wall. It’s end was just poking out enough to be seen, but very to grasp. A cleaning service might have felt the small scrap did not amount to much so they might have left it be, but I wanted a completely clean area so I hunched over, made myself into a pretzel shape and picked it up anyway
Personally, I also love the feeling of coming into a well-ordered, clean room….it makes me feel like anything is possible as I’m not distracted by clutter; so I can dig into the project at hand. Also, I am also not embarrassed if someone stops by unannounced.
As you know, putting things back in their proper place, and teaching kids to do the same, rather than just laying something down wherever it falls, is key. Everything in the house needs a permanent “home”. Without assigned places for items (i.e, keys, wallet, Band-Aids, garden gloves, craft supplies, coats, books, bills, coupons, out of season clothing, etc.) life can spiral out of control pretty quickly and will stay a permanent disaster. It’s eye opening to start assigning “homes” for things as that is when people see just how much “stuff” their house contains. It’s also a lot easier to clean a tidy house than moving clutter around.
Lastly, decide what needs to be done each day and just do it first, like an appointment. Ignore all non-essential phone callers and computer browsing time, until the chores are done. Interruptions can derail even the best planned schedule. I schedule my devotion after my breakfast, before I dig into the day, so that will not be interrupted.
We have a large house dog and 2 house cats. I MUST run the hand vac each day on the tile floor or we would have piles of pet hair, so I do that right after breakfast and devotions each day as our den is right off our breakfast room. This way, this chore is quickly done before I even get dressed for the day and we’re also not tracking piles of pet hair all over the house.
I have a plan and that can change with unexpected events of the day. If the change involves a “person” or a needed chat, I will usually put my plan on hold to tend to the person and then hop back onto schedule. Also, I choose the 3 most important housekeeping things to do each day. If I can’t get to all 3, I pick the most important one. Today was trash, laundry and bathing animals. Tomorrow will be planting my pansies, yard work and hauling down the Christmas decorations, as well as vacuuming.
Sorry to go on and on…..I love homekeeping and helping others as well.
Rachel writes:
Yes I usually have a clean and tidy home. I think that it is partially due to the good example that my parents set as far as keeping a clean house. However, I do agree that mindset is a big part of it as well, this I learned from my Dad, who always has a good attitude.
To answer you question on how I view my home, I would say that I see it as a gift and a blessing. I view my home as a ministry and a way to serve God faithfully through my family. I don’t do for approval of man (other wise I would often be discouraged and disappointed) but I know that God always sees what I do and He is always with me. I know that it isn’t about what specific task God has called me to do that brings me blessings, but it is my faithfulness in what He has called me to do that brings blessings; whether that be sharing the gospel, doing dishes, or picking up socks.
I also try to keep the perspective that my husband doesn’t have bad intentions towards me and that him leaving his socks on the floor isn’t a passive aggressive way of trying to upset me. I know that he loves me and it is just a bad habit, he doesn’t realize that he does it and I think that I can live with picking up a few socks here and there (after all, I know my Mom lovingly did it for me).
Overall, I just try and keep a thankful attitude and when I am slipping up I ask for God’s strengths and I do my best to set my eyes and focus back on pleasing Him because that is what I was created for (Revelation 4:11) and that is where true joy comes from.
I want my home to be built by the Lord and for the Lord and I want it to be a spiritually nurturing place; I want it to serve God’s kingdom and I realize that that means doing some repetitive tasks and I am OK with that. I find that my homemaking, in even my least favorite duties, is totally transformed when I am meditating on God’s word and thanking and praising Him. I think that keeping an eternal perspective is also key because it helps you to realize that this world is only temporary and that no sufferings of this world can compare with the glory that is to be revealed (Romans 8:8).
Kimberlee writes:
I view my home as a provision from God that allows me to care for our youngest and home school. I also view my home as a ministry tool for hospitality. We love to invite the elderly women of our church and neighbors to our Friday Poetry Tea. It can seem like work caring for a home when I am the only adult and am easily out numbered. But I can also choose joy as I carry out each mundane task every day.
I can choose to pray for each child as I change their bedding, pray for our guest to tea as I clean and bake, pray for my husband on the road as I take out the garbage and scrub the toilets, and I can choose to give thanks in everything. That changes my mindset and keeps me focused on my mission.
Don’t get me wrong. I am exhausted, I am sore, I can get cranky, and finding the joy seems like an impossible task some days. But when I choose joy and thanksgiving those same chores and tasks seem easily and quickly done. Then those quiet times with the children at the end of the day are so much sweeter. Wouldn’t change my life for anything!
Anonymous writes:
I have a clean home. I have other mom friends wonder how I keep it that way.
Firstly, I view my home as my haven or say kingdom. I want it to be a place that welcomes me and greets me with freshness and peace. Cluttering harasses my mind. I feel scattered unkempt and choked. I get my daughter to follow suit. Clean up after she is done with play, work, etc.
Biggest take away I avoid procrastination. Do it when it is needs attention.
Some days there is less to do. May be 3 or 4 chores… I hope these helps motivate others.
Beccy writes:
For a time we can run our homes and families at surface level; doing chores because we want to keep up a good appearance, responding to urgent needs because we have to, and maybe even excelling in a certain area because we have natural talent there. It is an unpredictable and stressful way to operate, like building the foundation on the sand and at some point the storm will come.
When we accept a path of peace and joy rather than fun and excitement, we find true happiness and satisfaction can only come by obeying God’s Word in the Scriptures. The role of a woman in the home is so clearly set out throughout the Bible and submission to The Lord’s will for me is what makes all the difference.
When we begin to view our husbands, children and homes as Gifts from God that He has entrusted us with, everything changes; when we rely on Him for everything rather than our own strengths, the impossible happens. When our minds are turned around like this we begin to love our role, and chores, duties and responsibilities seem less onerous.
Homemaking is moral order and it’s the greatest privilege a woman can have to join in this work for God’s glory.
Jasmine writes:
My house is generally clean and tidy these days. There are two reasons for this. One is that our youngest of five under ten is now six months. This is really important. I am getting some decent sleep again. The other reason is this, and it does have to do with mindset. I have a very important job. This house is a place of refuge and restoration after a day of work for my husband. Also, this is the place where my children are learning and growing. I would not want to leave my children at a school that was messy and disorderly. It is my heart’s desire that these children and my husband experience peace and order in our home.
Thank you for continuing this ministry. I first bought your Homemaking DVDs which helped to change how I viewed my role in the home both towards my home and my husband. Then I took your course, twice now, and it has greatly helped me to see the greater purpose. As a result, my priorities changed, and the atmosphere in the home changed. God is very good, and he used both your course and your DVDs to encourage me in homemaking.
Joyce writes
Yes, I do generally have a clean and tidy home. Perhaps a little background would help why I am the way I am. Growing up, I generally had the same chores to do – clean the bathroom and my dad’s office. However, I would not have considered myself a neat and tidy person in regards to my bedroom (although I did love to organize). As I grew into a teenager and bought my first car, I wanted to keep it neat and tidy should someone want to ride with me. That was my first realization that it wasn’t really for me I was keeping it clean, but for others.
When I became married, I realized it wasn’t up to my mother to clean my home – but me. It was my responsibility to cook the meals, clean and get the laundry done of our tiny 800 square foot condo that my husband had already owned for three years before we got married. It was his home that he was entrusting and welcoming me into – to make it cozy, inviting and clean.
I wanted him to come home from work to a clean and tidy home, with a warm and welcoming heart attitude, with a meal waiting for him. I wasn’t really taught this – it was something that I feel God placed on my heart that it was my responsibility to care for him and be his helpmeet in this way.
That being said, I also learned by my mother’s example – she didn’t have to tell me in words, but rather showed me what a clean and tidy home looked like and always had the laundry done and meals waiting on the table for my father.
Thirteen years later we now have three blessings we homeschool and live on 54 acres with a hobby farm. The house is still clean and tidy (now it’s become such a routine and part of life I don’t think about it) and I still make meals and welcome my husband home from work – even if it’s 11pm at night. I have grown in my role as wife and homemaker, and the Lord has truly blessed with me with more wisdom and understanding as the years go by. I can’t wait to keep learning and growing.
Anonymous writes:
Our home is generally clean and tidy. Our children have chore packs that they use and help our where needed. We are learning to work as a family team, and that it’s a daily practice full of GRACE. When I get behind on our home, or meal planning, it affects our household in a big way. I find myself overwhelmed and wanting to runaway into the online world of Instagram and Pinterest, which is so wrong! But just to be transparent 🙂
So a clean and tidy home makes a peaceful home for the entire family. Life is so much more smooth when everyone knows where everything is!
Staci writes:
I view my home as a blessing. It is a gift from God to be able to have a home and to be able to stay home with my children. I cherish my home, husband, and children. When you cherish something, you want to take care of it to the best of your ability.
My mom worked most of my growing up and I missed having her home with me. Remembering how much I missed having my mom home helps me to remember why it is so important to spend and invest time with my children.
I love that God made me to be a homemaker and that my husband fully supported that. I find I have the most peace when I am where God wants me to be.
I’m enjoying your podcast and homemakers academy. It nice to be encouraged in that area when it seems so foreign where I live.
Megan writes:
Our home is most often clean and tidy. It’s just the way things are. Our home is a nurturing environment to train the hearts of those therein. That being said mess is not conducive.
The children are all still young (8/11 & younger to be exact), but each plays a vital part. There are systems that keep the home in order: rooms must be cleaned before breakfast, children help with meal clean up (this is a natural process), house is tidied again before nap and bed. We clean the house on Fridays as well as any other times I may deem necessary.
People always comment about our home. I am grateful to the Lord for His wisdom. Actually it was models such as yourself and a few others that were my examples when the bigs were little.
I do not buy the lie that we are too busy or that with little ones, it’s okay to have a messy house. Sure there are seasons, but for the most part it is manageable. I’ve had littles for soon to be a dozen years, so I know.
God made us to marry, multiply and keep home. That is more natural to us than leaving the home for a job. For those that don’t know how to do it, I say simply: learn. I taught myself most of what I know to cook, clean and keep house. Others can too, by God’s grace. Through His Word, we have all that is needed for life and godliness. We need only to seek Him.
Anonymous writes:
I have given this much thought and here is what I have come up with. I am a single mom to five children , the youngest being eighteen. I was raised in a home where my mother performed all of the household tasks. I raised my family the same way. I take my job as keeper of the home seriously.
I often view my home as a smooth running machine and I want to keep it that way. I feel a sense of responsibility and accountability. I want the house tidy before I walk out the door and would often say to the children “what if the president were to come for a visit?” I have relaxed a little over the years, but find myself each morning saying “Martha Stewart won’t be stopping by today”, when the bed doesn’t make up just perfect.
Home is everything to me. It should be a place of comfort and creativity. I have been homeless in my lifetime. It is devastating when home defines you and it suddenly isn’t there.
Thank you for encouraging me to put my thoughts into words.
Anonymous writes:
The Christian wife and mom has a beautiful mission in life. To love and serve her God, by loving and serving her husband and children. A woman’s home is her greatest harvest field of her love. It opens her up to the duties of caring for those she loves and her home. This is where she presides and influences the world around her, her home.
A woman gains the most satisfaction when she is carrying out her God-given responsibilities in her home. Here, she will yield her greatest influence of love and loyalty by serving her family. If we remain patient and preserve with a cheerful devotion to our Lord, we will not grow weary in doing well.
A woman can have peace and full satisfaction that comes from her every day labors. We may not always feel the full satisfaction in our daily labors, but we must wait and in due season we will reap the benefits of a thankful husband and children. But we must also remember we are doing this to glorify God and to live out our God given duties, not for praise from man. The world needs devoted wives and mothers. She is her family’s holiest blessing. No words can express the blessedness of our mission.
Anonymous writes:
I’d say my house is generally clean, but not tidy. I struggle with mobile pile syndrome. I view my home as the hub of life, where it starts and where it ends and the whirlwind is all day.
The days I’m motivated to clean and tidy, I am usually expecting to have someone over, being a place people want to come is important to me.
I am realizing that my role in the home is much more important than I was ever taught, I am the heart that keeps the blood of this family pumping, I am the emotional sea which everyone else is swimming in, I am the tone of which we all communicate. It is me who keeps us moving forward towards our common goal of loving others and God.
Whether I am working outside the home or not it’s my job/role to keep marching on, teaching kids to grow, change, better ourselves for the sake of becoming more like the image of God we were created to be I’m realizing what I do does matter. A whole lot!
Rachelle writes:
I LOVE this topic. I read a blog posting from Above Rubies that changed my attitude/heart forever…
http://aboverubies.org/index.php/blog/entry/hidden-glory
The article creates a picture in the final paragraph of me in my home that has become a beautiful reminder of my homemaking and mothering duties. It is like I am doing my priestly duties in the temple of God! I am glorifying God (literally) as I move about mothering, cleaning, cooking. I can’t imagine a better place to be.
I love Psalm 128. My church family sings it from our hymnals. Our children belt it out full well knowing we are soooooo blessed and happy to have them in our home. Psalm 128 is an amazing depiction of the Christian home and family life. It’s what we’d all dream of. I’m currently expecting number 5, and I’m beyond blessed to have another olive branch for encompassing around our table.
“In Psalm 128:3 God also gives the picture of the wife in the heart of the home (the Hebrew word means “the recesses, the inner part.”) Is this because she is insignificant? No, it’s because she is dwelling in her glory. God uses the same word “recesses” to describe the wife in the home as He does for the “inner sanctuary” of the temple where He dwelt in His Shekinah Glory (1 Kings 6:16)”
Jane writes:
This is a fantastic question that has instantly made me think. I would say that there are several mindsets I have about our home. I am filled with joy because of my home – we have just moved out of a very cramped situation at my parent’s house. There are times when I am filled with dismay and overwhelmed because of how messy our home gets, but remember that it is a work in progress, and God’s grace makes it beautiful even in the mess.
The challenge of figuring out a good housekeeping/home keeping routine is very challenging for me, and that’s what overwhelms me. During those times when I have a chance to dream of the future for our home, I am excited because it was a blank canvas moving into it (the house was vacant for 15 yrs) and so as we work through the various repairs that have needed to be done to make it livable, we are still able to start tweaking it to make it our home, our haven to use for God’s kingdom work.
And lastly, because my husband is the pastor of our church, which is right next door to our house, my view of my home is that it is a tool to be used in ministry for the Kingdom of God.
