I feel like I’m not making a home, just doing a bunch of tasks. No joy like I envision I should have. I was so unskilled and undisciplined coming into marriage. I learned to be more disciplined over all these years, but I dislike the tasks as much as I ever did.”
Generations ago women knew that the vitality and strength of their family depended on their physical works inside the home. She inherently knew her role had purpose. She knew without a doubt her work was significant, was critical and was valued.
When what you do each day in your home has purpose, it’s meaningful. When you know the work you accomplish is critical to not just the well-being of your family, but is life-giving to your husband and children, it’s meaningful. And meaningful work is fulfilling work.
A woman with a purpose, who feels valued and who knows her contributions are necessary and significant, is a fulfilled woman.
Enter: The Irreplaceable-Biblical Homemaker
A diligent wife who loves the LORD, working in the heart her home elevates the role of Biblical homemaking. And a woman professing Godliness who daily builds her home (Proverbs 14:1) is no less important to the vitality of that household than she would have been 100 generations ago.
A Biblical homemaker knows her worth, is confident in her skills and she is irreplaceable. See, there has to be a certain level of confidence in order to do a job well.
con·fi·dence: full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing
For the Biblical homemaker, her confidence is in the LORD. She is confident she is to be busy in her home (Titus 2) and confident that her efforts are pleasing to the LORD (even if she is still learning the necessary skills).
And… this confidence motivates her to go about her tasks and avoid discouragement. In turn, getting things peacefully accomplished at home brings her joy.
So, how do you go from the: “I feel like I’m not making a home-no joy-dislike the tasks as much as I ever did,“ homemaker to the joyful, fulfilled and confident homemaker?
I’m glad you asked.
The Joyful, Fulfilled, Confident Homemaker Transition
There are just three areas to focus on to get you to being joyful, fulfilled and confident at home:
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” Have you ever read the story of Corrie Ten Boom? In her book, The Hiding Place, she describes the infestation of fleas in the barracks. “‘Fleas!’ I cried. ‘Betsie, the place is swarming with them!’” Betsie prayed for a solution, she opened her Bible to the passage she’d read that morning and the solution?
Oh yes:…’Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.’ That’s it, Corrie! That’s His answer. ‘Give thanks in all circumstances!’ That’s what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!”
They thanked God for the fleas. Turns out it was something to be thankful for after all:
That afternoon, [another prisoner] said, there’d been confusion in her knitting group about sock sizes and they’d asked the supervisor to come and settle it. But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why? …Because of the fleas! That’s what she said, ‘That place is crawling with fleas!'”
Be thankful in your home, for your husband, for your children, for the messes they make, the work they create… be thankful.
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” 1 Peter 4:10. “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45
I’d like to point out that if you grumble about serving others, your joy goes out the window. Can you imagine a wife in the heart of her home complaining about sweeping around the baby’s high chair, “grrrr-ing” about picking up after her hard working husband or rolling her eyes about sorting socks? (Maybe you don’t have to imagine?)
Serving others will bring joy, if your attitude is right. Christians are to put others first. See Philippians 2:4. Look away from the worldly notion of “self care” and focus more on those around you. When you start to look to the interests of others, and love others, especially your own family, you will gain joy.
Growing as a Homemaker:
Do you know the good you are to do? What I’m really asking is, do you know how to efficiently and properly:
- Load the dishwasher
- Care for clothing
- Organize your home
- Clean your home
- Manage your time
- Prepare healthy meals
- ...be a homemaker?
Let me share a quote one of my most recent students left when she finished the Elements of Christian Homemaking course:
I was doing a lot before BUT I knew I could do more and as silly as it sounds instead of just doing more, I let it discourage me. “
This is a woman who knew she could be doing more to bless her family, and when she didn’t do the good she new to do, it brought discouragement. But, she made subtle changes at home and it’s had a HUGE impact.
My question to you is, do you know you could and should be doing more? If yes, do it. Find that joy and don’t let idleness become a discouragement to you.
My other question to you is, are there areas you need to grow in? I’m 46, and there are still areas where I need to grow as a homemaker. What about you? A hesitant woman in the heart of her home is a woman who has ceased production. And an unproductive homemaker is thoroughly void of joy.
If you have no joy and dislike homemaking, it’s time to climb out of that rut. It’s not a fun place to be.
Read God’s Word, pray and enjoy the life He has blessed you with. Read this post again and remember, homemaking is not admired today. Your children may rise and call you blessed one day, but the world likely won’t. And that’s fine, we aren’t seeking their approval anyway.
Know Whose you are. Be confidently called as a homemaker. Do the good you know to do. Be busy in your home and don’t let laziness, idleness, procrastination or a lack of motivation steal your joy.
You can be joyful, you can love homemaking again. Often, you just have to choose to do so…