So I have this secret…obsession (?) with refinement. You know, Christian lady-like behavior as well as being more, well… refined. If you read my post The Basics of Refined Behavior you’ll see what I mean. If our behavior can be refined, what about our appearance? Which begs me to ask the question: How does refinement look?
It started several years ago when I was playing Apples to Apples with some of the children and “refined” was one of my red cards. I turned the card to show the children and said, “This is what I want to be. Refined.” They laughed. I mentioned a friend of ours, Candace. She is a lovely, refined Christian woman. Even her name sounds refined! They agreed, yes, Candace is refined. Me… just not quite there yet.
During the summer this year I studied Christian refinement in the life of a woman. I learned a lot. I have some posts written up about it to share sometime with you all too. Refinement may sound as if it shouldn’t be a goal of a Christian woman, just as charm shouldn’t be a goal, after-all; “Charm is deceitful…” but I assure you, true refinement is most assuredly a Godly endeavor!
When It Comes To “The Look”
Have you found that, in general, you act how you look? Not in every case of course, but if you’re wearing an evening gown and seated in a high-class restaurant, you probably behave in a way that is fitting to your attire and surrounds. On the other hand, if you’re wearing your jammies at home while snuggled on the couch with your husband, you behave in a way that is fitting to that scenario. What you do and say and even your posture is different in your jammies at home than would be in an evening gown at a classy restaurant.
So What About Hair?
I have been fighting with my “hairstyle” for years. I don’t really have one. I was never one of those girls who went and got her hair cut a specific way every few weeks. I cut it myself, hence the lack of “hairstyle.” I swing back and forth between bangs and no bangs. Watching my videos probably proves that! haha…
When I thought about my hair, again, I thought about what a refined hairstyle would look like. Off to Pinterest I went. I typed in, “classy hair styles” and what I found was….
Medium length hair. No real hairstyle, but lovely and simple. And…
Yes, out of all the images I scanned through, only a few of the ladies wore bangs.
With all of this in mind I approached my husband, “I think I want to grow my bangs out.”
“Okay,” he said.
So I have been fighting the temptation to cut them since they were at that point where they’re just long enough to be a bit of an annoyance, yet still too short to do much else with.
Why all this on hair?
Partly because I want to share my journey to refinement, and maybe it’s your journey too! And, I want what is in my heart to show on the outside as well. I will say that I have a looooong way to go before refined behavior comes natural to me, as it might to Kate Middleton, but I’m trying, and trying to teach my daughters as I go.
How about you?
Where are you in the journey to refinement? Perhaps you considered it just a few minutes ago when you started reading this post, or you may be similar to my friend Candace and can quickly be described as a refined woman.
Either way, please leave a comment and share your thoughts on refined behavior in the life of the Christian woman.
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