Are you a wise woman? I’m excited to share through this mini-series how to identify a wise woman, in yourself and others. I would like today’s post to be a reference for each of us to refer to when needed. Each of the resources are books on my shelf at home that I have personally read and recommend. The links are to Amazon, yet are not affiliate links. I will receive no commission from any purchases made, and many listed below are being sold used for just 1 cent!
This wife was Sarah, helpmeet of the Puritan preacher Jonathan Edwards. Devoted, responsible, fully trustworthy and trusted. She possessed incredible patience. You can read her story in Marriage to a Difficult Man.
Sarah can rightly be identified as a wise woman. You can see her legacy HERE. In the rest of this post I would like to detail how to spot a wise woman, and know if you yourself are too. The standards are high, yet attainable.
Tomorrow I’ll share how to identify a foolish woman.
How To Identify A Wise Woman
You can place her by observing:
- Her husband
- Her children
- Her home
- Her bank statements
- Her activities
- Her appearance
- Her behavior
The Husband of a Wise Woman
Hers is a confident man. He is happy and content, not defrauded or frustrated. He is generally at peace because of her influence, her care, her dedication and her service to him, their children and their home. She holds her tongue and lets him lead, and doesn’t direct him to the pile of dirty laundry to find a pair of socks for the day, or to Pizza Hut for dinner at night.
She doesn’t correct as if he were one of the children and she doesn’t complain to him, or about him. This wise woman adorns herself to compliment her man. Whether he farms Kentucky fields or fights the good fight in New York court rooms, her dress and demeanor commend his station in life (and by marriage) her place too.
She is his crown and his confidante, courteous yet never contentious.
The Children of a Wise Woman
Mothers have great influence over their children. They are cared for, not neglected. They will be exceptional in character, in conduct and in reputation. She will take care to educate and train her children to be diligent, obedient, organized, and orderly. She will teach them to be gracious, noble, virtuous, and kind.
She will praise their father to them and train them to respect him as she does. She will instill in them the love of God and others. Her example is nearly as important to her training as the diligent instruction she gives them.
Resources: Moms Who Changed the World (Mostly for encouragement) and Praise Her in the Gates: The Calling of Christian Motherhood
The Home of a Wise Woman
Enter into the home of a wise woman and you will find peace, order, and Biblical busyness (Titus 2). It will be generally clean, yet occupied. Kempt and kept, warm and welcoming.
Through her home she will extend hospitality. Through her graciousness, generosity, warmth and comfort she will minister to those in and out of her home. The décor will be pleasant. Chaos will be absent. She will strive for good works in this area, as all others and it will show. She will remember to not become discouraged through homemaking, but will learn the skills needed to do her job well.
The Finances of a Wise Woman
She understands how to spend and how to save, never going outside that of what her husband provides. She will use wisdom to look to the future in making sound investments, preparing for different seasons in life and weather, and keeping track of what comes in and what goes out.
She will have the skills or knowledge that can produce profits when she has the opportunity or time. Yet won’t neglect her family in search of riches. She will carefully consider each opportunity and know when to step back. Profiting her family through frugality or industry comes before personal pleasures.
The Activities of a Wise Woman
She knows her duty and makes no excuses. She is not satisfied with just cooking and cleaning alone. While this is part of her service to her home, she does more than the mere basics. The wise woman is not your average, modern woman. As described in Proverbs 31 she is rare, hard to find and worth more than precious stones.
An example of Godliness and femininity, she rules her spirit, her tongue and her vessel in honor and sanctification. She teaches her children well, and requires and expects virtuous behavior at all times. She encourages and builds up, and wearies not in well doing.
She is a keeper at home, not a busybody or gossip. She does not waste time but manages it well. She gets the proper amount of sleep to be an asset to her family, yet is not lazy. She is the helper suited to her husband and serves him wholeheartedly without complaint or contempt knowing this is her reasonable service as well as her pleasure.
The Appearance of a Wise Woman
Have you discovered a wise woman? Her appearance will be that of a proper weight, and in good physical condition (medical obstacles aside). Again, she will dress to honor her husband. Beyond extenuating circumstances, he will rarely if ever come home to a wife donned in sweats, yesterday’s make-up and a sloppy pony-tail.
The modern woman is accustomed to doing what she feels like and demanding she not be judged for it. Our appearance as women of the LORD has suffered and we are wrong to think the outside doesn’t matter. The LORD does look on the heart, but should He have to look through a stained t-shirt to see it?
The Behavior of a Wise Woman
Her comportment will be that of one who professes Godliness. She will be:
- Clean and content
- Discreet and dignified
- Faithful, not foolish
- Joyful and just
- Kind and considerate
- Loving and lovely (Lovely:
- Modest and moderate
- Pleasant, polite, pious, pure and peaceful
- Respectful and reverent
- Submissive and self controlled
Titus 2:3 says the aged women will be in behavior as becometh holiness which is defined as: reverent, fitting or appropriate for a sacred person, venerable, pious, and devout. Older women are to adorn their profession of Christ with their behavior.
Venerable is a uncommon word that means: commanding great respect because of age or impressive dignity: worthy to be regarded or treated with reverence, as because of noble character.
When thinking on how to act throughout the day and around others remember those words:
Commanding great respect because of… impressive dignity. Worthy to be… treated with reverence because of noble character.
For your daughters: How to be a Lady and the Young Lady’s Guide to the Harmonious Development of Christian Character (I haven’t read this book personally, but it comes highly recommended by my oldest daughter)
Ladies, I know this is a high calling, high standards and high ideals. Yet should our LORD and family expect anything less? As Christian women, we are called to be excellent in life. We have been equipped with what we need to live out Biblical womanhood. Our modern norms have fallen to the “Whatever feels good do it” mantra and our consciences have been seared. Our God is a holy God with holy requirements.
Please don’t let this post be a cause for guilt or discouragement. I write this to myself as well as you so we can strive for excellence. For further reading: 14 Marks of A Wise Woman
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the LORD Christ. Colossians 3:23-24 ESV
Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. 1 Peter 2:12 ESV
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12 ESV
You can read part 4 here: Are you a foolish woman?