It was 2009 and our 4th daughter had just had open heart surgery. It was a 2+ week recovery and I literally lived at the hospital for those long days. I got to know 2 of the nurses quite well during that time, with their 12 hour shifts and recurring assignments to my daughter.
I will never forget either of them. One, a young, unmarried woman in her late 20s and just finishing up college, was an excellent nurse with our Jenna. The other was older, probably my age at the time – mid 30’s – married, two children. She loved her job. She loved her family.
We talked more and more as the days went on. She was amazed that I had so many children (9 at the time). Something about all of my children and staying home with them pulled at her heart strings. My obedience to the LORD caused her to think about her own life and previous choices.
So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11
Our conversations were often laced with words such as, “I would love to stay home with my kids, I make too much money now though.” and “We’ve got too much debt, I make more than my husband does.” She had followed the worldly advice, and swallowed it’s lies worm, hook, line and sinker. And she now regretted it.
College, debt, marriage, career, more debt, children, more debt, more career.
Worldly Advice Isn’t All It Seems
That wiggly worm, so appealing to a hungry fish isn’t all that it seems. It looks like nourishment and satisfaction. In reality, it is sure death. Sometimes immediate, often lingering, yet never is the fish left un-scarred, or satisfied.
To a fish the bait is the ultimate allurement. So it is with college and career. Most everyone around a young women dangles that same bait:
- “It’s good for you!”
- “It will satisfy you, fulfill you!”
- “You need this.”
Something about it sounds all too familiar: “And when the woman saw that [it] was good for food, and pleasant to the eyes…”
Yes, we’ve heard that lie before. Today though, it’s just being packaged differently. It’s all the same though. Today the promise is of a secure future income. But for those of us who are older, we know better than “financial security.” It simply doesn’t exist.
The Heart’s Response of Regret
So the nurse in her mid 30s? During one very serious conversation, she was paged to check on another patient, as she started to walk out I said, “You’ll never regret quitting your job and spending that time with your children.”
Turning back and looking directly at me, with all sobriety she said those haunting words: “I made my choices years ago. I can’t quit now. I’m stuck.”
If You’re Stuck Too
She can’t get those years back, and she didn’t see a way to change the immediate future. She chose the worldly route and she paid dearly for it, in time and money.
So what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? Pray. Speak with your husband. Seek Godly council. Cut expenses and see if working is truly bringing in more income (many times it isn’t).
Sometimes when we’ve made bad choices, we have to spend a few years reaping what we’d sown. The LORD is good and He does hear our heart’s cry. If your heart longs to be freed from outside employment, I would be willing to bet it was the LORD who put that longing there.
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalm 37:4
It is God who puts good desires in your heart. Wanting to be a full-time wife and mother is most assuredly not a seed the enemy planted. It is a desire placed there by God Himself. It is Biblical, it is Godly, it is righteous.
*Posts like this are difficult to write. If you are in this very position, you may see no way out of your current situation. Many women have left their high paying jobs to care for their family and home. I have been a full time homemaker for 20+ years and we have 11 children. It can be done, it does take sacrifice. Remember, with God all things are possible.
You are so right. Well said.
I regretted every hour I spent away from my kids while I was working. After telling my husband how bad I was feeling about it we prayed and God opened the doors for us. First it was a job with a company in the area that would allow me to only work part time, then an option for a transfer in the same company to an area where cost of living was much lower so I could stay home with them. We’ve never regretted this decision and our family is much closer and happier!
So many women follow what the world has to say about work, motherhood, and marriage and end up in a place where they can’t get out. The enemy lures us with his promise of “having it all” and larger homes and more cars and things, but then we get all that and only want one thing: to serve our families.
Thank you for always speaking truth and never shying away from it.
It’s so refreshing to see other women writing about this so very important topic, Jennifer! Wow! Eleven children. You are blessed. Children are the ones who need their mothers home full-time desperately. They are the ones missing out the most.