Last week I wrote a post for Raising Homemakers that I titled: “Are You a Homemaker Living Like a Feminist.” It received quite the response. There were negative comments and positive comments, and no middle ground.
This morning, I sit here with my cup of tea as I write out a response. First though, I need to lay some ground work. Raising Homemakers is a blog:
“…dedicated to inspiring, teaching and blessing mothers who have an interest in raising their daughter in godliness and preparing them in the arts of homemaking to the glory of God” emphasis mine.
In short, it is a website for mothers who want to raise their daughters to be homemakers. The title alone is evidence of this fact. The post I wrote is also directed to homemakers, the stay at home mom, etc.
Who The Post Was Not For
I’m not Paul and I can’t be all things to all people. It is vain to attempt it. So who was the post for? Or better yet, who was the post not for?
It was not directed at women who work outside the home because their husband has asked them to and their respectful appeals have fallen on deaf ears.
It was not directed at feminists. Why would they even visit a site that is in direct opposition of their beliefs? It would seem like such a waste of time.
It was not directed to unsaved women who don’t know our LORD. Such admonishments would be an offense to them.
Who The Post Was For
When I write, it is always, unless stated otherwise, written to the Christian homemaker. This post was for the Christian wife who wants to live a life that glorifies her LORD, but gets sucked back into the worldly, feministic mindset from time to time.
I can’t tell you how many ladies in this category, if you will, wrote to me either publicly or privately thanking me. We so need to be encouraged to fully follow the LORD and consistently reject anti-Biblical teachings.
The post was also for the Christian wife that has chosen to work outside the home because she enjoys the money, the job or any other aspect of it and is leaving the raising of her children to hirelings and neglecting her home.
This is a woman who also expects her husband to help with the housework and other homemaking type duties. This.is.a.feminist.mindset.
To The Feminist
Why read posts at Raising Homemakers? I truly don’t understand. If you are all about choice, why bash a post that fully encourages Biblical womanhood? Isn’t living a life unto the LORD a choice?
As truth would have it though, feminism is a sacred belief. It is the devil’s stronghold and very effective tool. And when someone on the other side of the fence exposes the evils of it, his servants come out of the woodwork to defend it.
To The Overwhelmed Mother
If this post grieved you, as a full time homemaker, this was not my intention. If you are feeling overwhelmed at home by all of your duties, I would ask if you have too much on your plate?
Maybe just some simple de-cluttering would provide some relief. Learning some basic home management skills would be a benefit as well. Women have been so deceived for so long that running a home can be a challenge.
If You Felt it Was Un-Biblical
First, go to your husband with your questions and concerns. You are under his authority.
Also, do as the Bereans did and search the scriptures to see if what I said is scriptural. I was reprimanded a few times about not backing up what I wrote with scripture. Again, the post was for the Christian homemaker. Most Christian homemakers are familiar with the scripture that speaks to the duties and the role of a wife.
I will offer a few verses here, but ultimately it is the responsibility of the reader to check everything she reads against the truth of God’s word. Even when I provide Bible verses, it is in your best interest to see if what I’ve said is accurate. Actually, it is a good idea to do that with much of what you read online.
As an added benefit, it is an encouragement to open God’s Word and dig out His truth. If what I wrote drove you to the Bible, to God be the glory!
A post that devalues feminism elicits more comments than usual because it is challenging deeply held beliefs. Praise God for that!
If you are truly seeking the truth about God’s role for women, read through:
- Titus 2
- Proverbs 31
- 1 Peter 3
- 1 Timothy 5
- Ephesians 5
- Colossians 3
- Proverbs 14
If you need a foundation in Biblical homemaking, I created a course that has blessed many women.
*Note: I did not write this or the other post just to advertise the course. It is honestly a second thought that I offer it now. I am delighted however to have something to offer to women in need of training on the Biblical mindset for homemaking. You can learn more here: The Focused Homemaking Training Course. And, if it is May 2016, enrollment is opened for a short time.
Lastly, I pray you are growing and thriving in the heart of your home as you tend to your family and daily serve those the LORD has entrusted to your care. It is a divine calling.
What a great response! I thought your original article was fantastic and it made me think. Isn’t that why we read blog posts and learn from other women? To grow in knowledge and be encouraged?? Thank you for standing strong on God’s Word Jennifer! As a young homemaker I am so thankful for you!! 🙂
I always praise the LORD for the encouragement He offers us! 🙂 It is such a blessing.
I agree, we are to learn from other women. It is fully scriptural. Thank you too for your encouraging words, and praise God too for those who love Him and His commandments!
I love everything you write, Jennifer! I pray that you are encouraged by this opposition, for when we are doing something that will help us and others grow closer to God, Satan will surely fight against it! Weary not in well doing! 🙂
Thank you sweet friend 🙂
Jennifer, I am so thankful for you. In the past, I worked full-time outside the home. I watched your homemaking DVD’s and learned so much from you. I truly believe God is using you for His glory to help mothers and wives see that His ways for us are best! At first, it was a little worrisome to lose my income, but we took that leap of faith because we prayed, read the scriptures and knew that God wanted me to be at home with our family. Right around that time we were blessed with a wise investment my husband made. We have rental homes that we rent out and now have more income than before when I was working outside the home! I’m not saying that everyone who stays home won’t struggle, but I will say that amazing things can happen when you trust the Lord, work hard and put your faith in Him and not worldly opinions. To this day, I still have family members and, now rather distant friends, asking me how I can stand to be at home and don’t I feel bored and unfulfilled? And most of these people identify as Christians, yet they have been sadly deceived as many others. Satan seeks to destroy the family and feminism is a weapon of his. Our pastor was just saying that some of the most cunning and destructive lies have been mixed in with a tiny bit of truth to deceive even more people.
I pray that you do not become discouraged by negative comments. We need more Godly women and mentors like yourself as they are so hard to find in today’s world… When I was working outside the home, I was exhausted, commuting three hours a day at times, I had no energy left to take care of my family or home and unhappy. And that unhappiness spread like poison to my family. It hurt taking our child to daycare and seeing her sad face and arms reaching for me when I left. I almost cry thinking of it and I’ll always regret those precious days that I lost with her. The Lord was working through you when my husband and I felt so convicted to do God’s will. I’m not saying every woman who works outside is feeling as bad as I was, but I do know that God’s plan for each of us is so much better!!
I have so much joy now as well as my family, our faith has strengthened as a result and we are closer to God than ever before. There have even been a couple of mothers in our church that have left their jobs to stay home and take care of their families, and they were so excited to tell me and were even asking me questions, which was pleasantly surprising to me! I was so happy for them. My family and I have so much joy now, we are healthier and most importantly our faith is stronger than ever before. Our walk with God has never been closer. Nobody can argue with that. And when hard times come, we have that never-ending assurance that He’ll be there to walk beside us, forever faithful in His promises to us.
Without your DVDs and encouragement, I don’t know how different things would be today. I cringe at the thought…So, with all of my heart – thank you!!! God bless!
Thank you for writing. I pray the LORD does use me for His service.
I too worked and can still see the tears of my 18 month old son watching me as I backed out of the driveway to head to work. A job I didn’t even need. If I can help other women avoid this all the negative comments are worth it. Just par for the course I suppose.
Praise the LORD that you are able to be a support and encouragement for the other mothers at church! What a testimony to God!
Thank you for sharing about the joy in your family, I know the feeling 🙂
And, like you… I’m merely a servant for Him to use as He chooses. I’m blessed to know the LORD has used the DVDs for His kingdom, yet… all the glory goes to Him 🙂
Thank you for writing, Katie, the LORD is Good!!
You are such a blessing to all of us, Jennifer! I have downloaded many things that you have written and kept them in a loose leaf binder, making my own book of sorts, so that I can daily be encouraged in my role as a homemaker. You are part of my day every day! In reparation for all the negatives you received from your previous post, please accept a big ‘THANK YOU’ from those of us who appreciate what you write 🙂
Thank you Vicki, it truly means a lot <3
I am a former feminist turned bible believing God praising homemaker. I love what you wrote I also love your response. I see that an awful lote, unbelievers, atheists watching Christian movies and then complaining about them. Feminists complaining about homemaker blogs. While I respect them for their choices and beliefs, I don’t understand why they read or watch anything that is against their beliefs. Why are our choices so wrong but theirs is so right?
It would seem that tolerance is only pushed on Christians. “They” are fine with most choices, as long as the choice isn’t related to following the one, true God.
I’m always perplexed as to why those who don’t agree with homemaking are reading a homemaking blog! I’ve come to the conclusion that the sole reason is to debate, argue, find fault, attack – you get the idea. Obviously homemaking is Biblical, the man/woman roles are Biblical and some Christians are just fighting against the truth, which is ultimately God, not us. Families work better when you do it God’s way!
Nicole Richie says
Jennifer, thank you for staying true to your calling and being obedient to the Lord!! What a blessing to those who follow His calling as well.
Sarah S. says
TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH!!
Thank you for proclaiming it and not backing down from the controversy! Your article was excellent and fully backed by scripture!
Praise the Lord for laying a foundation and providing Christian wives and mothers with a role designed especially for them!
I had been married for nearly 4 years before I even knew I had a purpose as a wife and mother. I was lost and confused. A dear sweet Christian mother with 6 children took me under her wing and asked me questions about my intentions and really got me thinking. Then she showed me scriptures to live by, and though I still had much to work on, I had freedom from the bondage of the secular world view that had trained my thinking and ruled my life. Thank you Jennifer for being a “Titus 2” woman to so many homemakers near and far!
You are a blessing to so many, and I praise God for your faithfulness!
Kim Eversman says
Romans 1:18-19 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who HOLD the truth in unrighteousness;
 Because that which may be known of God is manifest IN them; for God hath SHEWED it unto them. ( Emphasis added)
These verses state that women and men HOLD the truth of God because God has SHOWN it to them. Every man and woman knows what God wants. He has clearly written it on our hearts. If we choose to go our own way, God will try and draw us back, but ultimately we make our own CHOICES. It bothers me greatly when women get upset with YOU because the CHOICES they have made, knowing full well that they have God’s standards IN them.
Your post was right on target. I have friends who get mad at their husbands when they don’t “help out”. Really? Some of these women are home all day. They need to manage their time better, eliminate time wasters in their home, and schedule every minute. I also have women friends who like to work and leave their responsibility of raising their children to the government. They also demand that their husbands “help” them keep the house and run the children all over town. These ladies say that by having a job they feel “fulfilled”, they are using their “talents”, and they feel they are “appreciated”. I say it’s the MONEY. Jesus said there are two Masters: God and Mammon. My working friends have chosen Mammon. They could all be home and feel “fulfilled”, use their “talents” teaching Bible studies and investing in young women, teach their own children, and receive “recognition” from their family and church.
Keep speaking TRUTH. It will not be popular with unbelievers, and sadly, unpopular with many Christian women as well. Be faithful to our Lord, Jennifer.
I appreciate this response Jennifer. I thought your original post was very good too. It is thought provoking. I reflected on your words & on scripture after I read it. I started to think about how that looks in my life. Am I feeling convicted in a specific area? The answer is yes! I will be praying about this because I want to hear from God about how this should be lived out in my current circumstance. I’m not offended at all and actually I appreciate you speaking truth to me. I know that I need to manage my time better, be more intentional with self care, and receive God’s grace daily. It’s not about perfection in housekeeping and child rearing but rather a heart issue. We should always ask the Lord: Is my heart aligned with your will for my life? I’m praying this: Lord, Jennifer’s words have convicted me and I’ve been feeling out of balance as a homemaker even before reading this. Show me anything in my life that doesn’t please you. Change is so hard for me but you know best. I am yours!
Also, Jennifer, I read the other post and comments, and there is one other thing worth noting. In this post, you compare dissenting commenters as “servants of the devil who came out of the woodwork”. Dissenting comments often from self-proclaiming Christian women were gracious, appealed to the gospel, encouraged grace and balance, cautioned about people’s different energy levels, skills, desires, and life situations. Therefore, this is an unfortunate unfair, untrue characterization.
I don’t disagree with your post but I do believe that their are situations in which the bible doesn’t address. What do you do when financially you are unable to stay at home? Should we not have had children until we could afford for me to stay home? We live very modestly, have a small home where our house payment is smaller than rent in our area and my husbands salary alone would not be enough to sustain us. We don’t pay for childcare as my parents watch our children so even staying home wouldn’t save us childcare costs.
I also, have Narcolepsy which at times makes it impossible for me to complete all household duties on my home and there are times that my husband helps care for the children and our home because I am unable too. Even during the times I am off of work for extended periods of time such as maternity leave just caring for our children and some days even caring for myself becomes an almost impossible task for me and I need him to help me. I don’t expect him too but it’s something he does as my partner in life and as our vows stated in sickness and in health. We continue to pray and believe that God will heal me but also know that it is on his time.
Megan Elford says
Thank you for posting your thoughts on homemaking. As a sister in Christ however, I’m very concerned that you’re reading into scripture many things that aren’t there.
I read the original post and then this one, and I don’t see ANY Biblical basis for things like not hiring out care of your children, doing all of the housework and not having a job outside of the home. Proverbs 31 is the only passage you listed that speaks to any of these things, and it says that a woman of noble character does ALL of them. Hiring servants, trading, selling products, buying real estate … and it says nothing about getting her husband’s approval first. It does say that he praises her in her endeavors, even though she hasn’t asked him first.
Yes, the NT passages talk about raising children and helping others, but not to the exclusion of an outside job OR without the help of your husband.
I am a stay at home mom, and I do believe that my responsibilities are primarily childcare and housework. However, I’m worried that you’re misrepresenting what the Bible says about women. Your personal beliefs about roles and responsibilities are great, but it really worries me that you’re using God’s Word to say things that it just doesn’t say.
Take everything I say back to scripture and your husband. And I’m glad you have.
Training children is the responsibility of the parents. Keeping the home is the responsibility of the wife.
Thank you for writing.
Stephanie Malcolm says
I absolutely love this post. It 100% summarizes why I believe the way I do, why I do what I do, and why I teach other women the way I do.
Abigail Matherne says
I can not say I have your experience as a mother or wife. I am also not nearly as educated in the Christian faith as I would like to be. However, I cannot ever imagine living subservient to a man, or any other person. I am 17 and about to go to university to study law. Does wanting to have a career make me ungodly? I also don’t see how believing I can do anything a man can is bad. Isn’t that oppressing half of the population? Can’t loving the Lord and living our lives believing everyone is equal be enough?