It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Last time I wrote here, life was normal, or at least the what.I’d.always.been.used.to.normal.
Today though, it’s different. It’s a new different, and I think I’m used to it for the most part. I’ll tell you about it in a minute, but first, I’m hesitant.
Hesitant to write. I wonder, is this where the LORD wants me? He knows I’ll drop this (blogging) in a moment if it’s not His will for me. So today I write. Tomorrow? No promises. This isn’t an “I’m back!” post, this is a “Good morning, I’m being cautious,” post.
The New Different
One random Sunday evening, early last Spring at my parents house for dinner, my mom looks up from her plate and asks, “So, do you ever think about moving?” Jason and I look at each other, pause, and I say, “Yes, we do sometimes. The girls are getting older (our oldest were 18 and 16 at the time) and we don’t see any marriage prospects here.”
That conversation alone has prompted us to sell 2 of our rental homes so far, and put the rest for sale, as well as our house and my parents. Yet, that day I didn’t realize all that would change in such a short amount of time.
Just several short weeks later our daughter graduated and we had a lovely homeschool graduation with some other families and a dance afterwards. At the English Country dance that night our oldest daughter met a young man who came from 3 hours away and who she would marry in less than a year.
Jump to February of this year and our daughter is engaged with a wedding date set for early May. Amidst the wedding planning fury, my dad suffered a massive “brain bleed,” underwent emergency surgery to remove the 4″ clot, spent three days on life support with significant damage to his brain, with it worsening each day, and passing on into eternity as my mom, husband and older children and I stood by holding his hand. My Dad (he and I below), he’s gone. I thought he’d be here at least another 15 years.
Fifteen days later my husband walked our beautiful daughter down the aisle to take the hand of a young man that I now call, “son.” He loves the LORD (just what we wanted in a suitor) and he adores that daughter of ours. And not just your, “he sure loves her” kind of adores, no it is an all encompassing kind of love and affection that warms a mother’s heart and gives a dad the reassurance that his little girl will be just fine with this new man in her life, leading and guiding her.
Three days after giving our daughter away, my mom, husband and the rest of the children and I packed up and headed to California for the burial for my dad. We said goodbye for a time. We watched as they lowered the casket into the ground, and I let a rose drop on top.
Grass grows there now, where only dirt had been the day we walked away from that cemetery. He’s been there that long. Long enough for me to realize it is real, yet still not long enough for me to be convinced of it. If that makes any sense.
So my plans for this space, this blog, are… well.. they aren’t my plans. They are His. I’ve got a lot to share, and hopefully at 43, even some of it will be wise (one can hope!). I even have a few projects I’ve been working on for the past several months, for you. Actually I created one for me, but you’ll find it incredibly helpful too, and it’s finally coming together.
For a long time, I wasn’t sure. But 2 days ago it seems as if the LORD looked down, and said, “Okay, you can have this now. It’s time.” I’m so thankful, and hopefully I can share all about it with you in a month or two.
Whew! That’s a lot of words for my first post after four months, but there was a lot to catch up on. I pray this finds you all well and thriving. Know the LORD, listen to His voice, follow the path of righteousness, walk in the Spirit and renew your minds. Live for Him daily and love Him with all your heart, mind and strength.
Until next time…